1. |
However You Can
04:18
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However You Can
I don’t know if I’ve been a good man
Most days I give it my best
Sometimes I walk in God’s graces
Sometimes I fail the test
My son died in Kandahar province
My wife died in pain the next year
My daughter’s a doctor in Boston
Who sacrificed kids for career
So love me as if I’m your brother
Love me as if I’m your man
Love me as one loves another
Love me however you can
I worked the GE floor in Warren
Made lights bulbs for nine thousand days
And in ’14 they banned incandescents
And the last hundred jobs went away
Now I sit in the glare of fluorescents
Hard light on the family room floor
And I think of the good days we had here
Good times I won’t have any more
So love me as if I’m your brother
Love me as if I’m your man
Love me as one loves another
Love me however you can
This life is a trial, this life is a road
We walk the last mile alone
But I choke back the bile and shoulder the load
And think of the love I have known
I mostly spend time with myself now
My daughter, she calls once a week
And the days flow by like a river of time
Whole days when I don’t even speak
But I hope I’m at peace with my Maker
I’m making my peace with my fate
Still, sometimes I stare out the window
And wish that it wasn’t so late
So love me as if I’m your brother
Love me as if I’m your man
Love me as I loved another
Love me however you can
I don’t know if I’ve been a good man
Most days I give it my best
Sometimes I walk in God’s graces
Sometimes I fail the test
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2. |
Western Reserve
04:21
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Western Reserve
The moment I saw it, I knew it
The Buick pulled in the drive
I couldn’t think how we’d get through it
Couldn’t think how we’d survive
The soldiers could not have been kinder
You could see they’d done this before
Another suburban reminder
Of an endless, horrible war
To serve was never Ted’s calling
But he joined the Ohio Guard
The Iron Camels out of Piqua
When they cut back his hours at the yard
Ted was buried with full Army colors
With his brothers at Western Reserve
In a grave like ten thousand others
A grave that no one deserves
And I feel so sad for my Davy
With the loneliest crosstown commute
From Western Reserve down to Lake View
And the stones of life’s bitter fruit
Not long past Ted’s memorial service
I felt a strange pain in my thumb
At first, I thought it was nerves
Though most of the time I felt numb
But by April my hands were on fire
By May I was feeling so weak
In June I had to retire
By July, whole days when I couldn’t speak
And I cannot describe what it felt like
The infusions that tore me apart
And pain that consumed my body
After pain had consumed my heart
But the worst part was watching my husband
So angry with the Lord
Silently raging at heaven
Fury on the seventh-floor ward
Chorus
The moment I saw it, I knew it
The Buick pulled in the drive
I couldn’t think how we’d get through it
Couldn’t think how we’d survive
The soldiers could not have been kinder
I could see they’d done this before
Another suburban reminder
Of an endless, horrible war
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3. |
Never Going Home
04:21
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Never Going Home
Mom took out a loan from her pension
Dad took extra shifts on the floor
Sacrifices too many to mention
And I’d pay them back, I swore
And I did – I made Alpha Omega
Did pediatrics at UCSF
They visited my flat on Ortega
When I left for Mali with MSF
But Dad told me the one thing he prayed for
Was I’d come to work close by
He figured that’s what they paid for
But there’s just so much tuition can buy
And I have good work at Brigham and Women’s
And I’m happy that my life is my own
And no matter how much I love them
I am never, never ever ever going home
I was working the ward the morning
I got the call that my brother was dead
An IED with no warning
Shrapnel through the back of his head
Mom at the funeral crying
Dad’s back as straight as a rod
Trying and failing and trying
To make their peace with God
And then her cancer struck like lightning
Too fast to comprehend
Relentless and endlessly frightening
Six months from beginning to end
And I do good work at Brigham and Women’s
And I’m content to be living alone
And no matter how much I love him
I am never, never ever going home
Can anybody out there show us
What we owe in exchange for our days?
When they need us but they no longer know us
Can we make peace with the parting of ways?
I call Dad every Sunday
And we dance our weekly dance:
“Looking forward to seeing you someday”
“I’ll come and visit when I have the chance”
I think he’s proud of all my achievements
And proud that I share his name
But in that house built of stone and bereavements
I think he hates me just the same
And I do good work at Brigham and Women’s
And I’ve earned everything that I own
But no matter how much I love him
I am never, never ever ever going home
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4. |
Lost and Found
04:27
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Lost and Found
Johnny went down to the lost and found with a look of half surprise
Janie’d been gone a day too long, he hadn’t seen it in her eyes
He looked around at the lost and found, time began to unwind
He could see for himself on every shelf the things he’d left behind
Janie went down to the lost and found with something that felt like fear
She dropped in the slot ninety-seven bad thoughts picked up from year to year
She walked around at the lost and found, put Johnny right out of her mind
And every rack said, “Don’t go back to the things you left behind”
The things she left behind
The things she left behind
The things she left behind
Davy went down to the lost and found, a folded flag in his hand
Looking for Ted who was two years’ dead in the dust of Afghanistan
He looked around at the lost and found but the rage just made him blind
Ted was gone, and Davy couldn’t move on from the things he left behind
The things he left behind
The things he left behind
The things he left behind
Sometimes you lose a treasure
Sometimes you find a stone
Sometimes it’s tough to measure
And you’re better off living alone
My mama went down to the lost and found after my daddy had died
She said she didn’t know why she wanted to go but you know, I think she lied
She walked around at the lost and found, all polished, perfumed and refined
And cut off his life with a carving knife and the things he’d left behind
If you go on down to the lost and found, you better not go alone
You might waste the day, you might walk away with something that you don’t even own
I’ll meet you down at the lost and found, we’ll keep tomorrow in mind
But we better move fast or we won’t get past the things we leave behind
The things we leave behind
The things we leave behind
The things we leave behind
The things we leave behind
The things we lose and find
The things we keep in mind
The things we leave behind
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5. |
Tend the Fire
05:26
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Tend the Fire
Before we go, I just want to say
You made my life a wonder in a hundred different ways
But time moves on and the years roll by
You laugh, you lose, you learn to love, you live your life, you die
But who I am isn’t who I was
I love you and I always will, just because
And who I am isn’t who I’ll be
And you are in my heart and in my heart you’ll always be
My one
If I knew what went wrong
I’d write it in a sad and lonesome country song
And if I knew how to make it right
I’d love you through the long and lazy summer nights
But who I am isn’t who I was
And time defeats the purpose, as it often does
And who I am isn’t who I’ll be
I’ll find a place where I can keep my own company
As one
While you tend the fire
You tend the fire
You tend the fire
This time
I can’t deny, we’re getting old
The places that we’ve touched have started turning cold
I’d hold your hand if the myths were true
But I believe this is the last song that I’ll write for you
But who I am isn’t who I was
The night descends in silence, as it always does
And who I am isn’t who I’ll be
I wish you well, I wish you love, I wish you were with me
As one
While you tend the fire
You tend the fire
You tend the fire
This time
You tend the fire
While I’ll walk the wire
You tend the fire
This time
And now it’s time to end this song
Go with God, go with grace, but please don’t go too long
I’ll be here if you chance to call
I’ll look for you, I’ll look for love, I’ll try to see it all
As one
And I’ll tend the fire
I’ll tend the fire
I’ll tend the fire
While you’re gone
And I’ll tend the fire
While you walk the wire
I’ll tend the fire
From now on
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6. |
Tuesday Girl
04:02
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Tuesday Girl
I was singing in a practice room
In a high school overcrowded by the baby boom
A pretty brown-haired girl walked right in
With a book bag and a violin
She didn’t say a thing
Just started working on “The Rite of Spring”
After just one phrase I went crazy for that Tuesday girl
One week later it was just the same
She walked in and started playing, didn’t ask my name
I couldn’t sing so I took out my books
Faking reading, throwing sidelong looks
I was just sixteen
She was the greatest thing I’d ever seen
But I didn’t have a prayer of getting near that Tuesday girl
Other days I hardly saw her at all
No glance in a classroom, no nod in the hall
But I built a little world
Around that pretty, pretty Tuesday girl
As the weeks went by the ice began to crack
I’d slip out a smile; she’d slip one back
Then one Spring day all my patience paid
She looked straight at me as she played
And in that sweet, small moment of grace
There was a shy smile on her face
And I finally had a chance to dance with my Tuesday girl
Other days I hardly saw her at all
No glance in a classroom, no nod in the hall
But I built a little world
Around my pretty, pretty Tuesday girl
If you please
You could sail all the seven seas
And never find a pearl
That shines like my Tuesday girl
After that we had a lot of fun
A different kind of practice out in the sun
Taking walks in the forest preserve
Couple of kisses when I got up the nerve
And then her family moved away
I was so sad she couldn’t stay
To help me learn a little more about caring for a Tuesday girl
If you please
You could sail all the seven seas
And never find a pearl
That shines like my Tuesday girl
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7. |
Don't Keep Me Waiting
03:27
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Don’t Keep Me Waiting
I am a simple man
I find myself in you
I do not shut the door
I won’t ask you for more
Why won’t you open up?
Don’t keep me waiting here
It’s been a long, long time
My feet have come to rest
The empty midnight sky
Has seen you asking why
Why won’t you open up?
Don’t keep me waiting here
I gave the best years to you
Now it don’t even show
If we’re not going to last
I wish you’d let me know
I am a simple man
I find myself in you
I do not shut the door
I won’t ask you for more
Why won’t you open up?
Don’t keep me waiting here
I gave the best years to you
Now it don’t even show
If we’re not going to last
I wish you’d let me know
© 1971 Francis McKendree
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8. |
Photography
04:57
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Photography
There’s a photo we keep on a bookshelf
Our daughter at the shore
She’s halfway through a cartwheel
Who could ever ask for more?
There’s a photo I saw in the paper
A toddler face down in the sand
The waves threw him out of a life raft
That no country allowed to land
I can’t meet my glance in the mirror
I can’t look myself in the eye
In my safety, my warmth and my comfort
As children continue to die
There’s a photo I keep in my office
My daughter at the park
Between the slide and the swing set
She’s happy as a lark
There’s a photo I saw in the paper
A child in a cage
And of course I found it horrific
Then I turned to the local news page
I can’t meet my glance in the mirror
I can’t look myself in the eye
With the freedom to go where I want to
As children continue to die
Who have we become? Who are we?
Complaining about the rain
Blind to the world around us
Ignoring the terror and pain
There’s a photo I keep in my mind’s eye
My daughter on the lawn
Camellias in bloom all around her
It’s a beautiful summer’s dawn
There’s a photo I saw in the paper
A young girl with fear in her face
As the tear gas swirled around her
For the crime of seeking a safe place
Can you meet your glance in the mirror?
Can you look yourself in the eye
With the peace you take for granted
As children continue to die?
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9. |
Good Book Blues
04:56
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Good Book Blues
Come on pretty baby, meet me way downtown
Come on pretty mama, won’t you meet me way downtown?
If you want to have a good time, you gotta put the Good Book down
Come on pretty mama, meet me by the railroad gate
Come on pretty baby, won’t you meet me by the railroad gate?
If you want to go ridin’, heaven gonna have to wait
The Lord says love your brother, the Lord says put your neighbor first
The Lord says love your brother, Lord says put your neighbor first
Gonna do the good Lord’s bidding, but first I gotta quench my thirst
Saw the preacher at the station, he asked me where I’d been
Preacher at the station, asked me where I’d been
I said the church ain’t no place for a man who’s born to sin
My baby says she loves me, gonna love her ‘til I’m dead
Baby says she loves me, gonna love her ‘til the day I’m dead
But the Good Book is her pillow and it won’t let me in her bed
Got no cream in my coffee, got no sugar in my tea
Got no cream in my coffee, got no sugar in my tea
But I got a Gospel woman, and she’s a fool for me
Come on pretty baby, meet me way downtown
Come on pretty mama, won’t you meet me way downtown?
If you want to have a good time, you gotta put the Good Book down
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10. |
The Final Word
04:13
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The Final Word
So you’ve finally come to see Me
You bastard in a suit
I’ve kept up with your letters
And a few were quite astute
You’re right, you’re no Hank Williams
But then, you didn’t want to be
Climbing up a tower of song
You wanted to be Me
Or at least to do My bidding
Or at most to do My will
In songs and quiet questions
From a cell atop a hill
You said you wanted darkness
So I brought you through the night
Then to that crack in everything
That lets in the light
Your old ideas were new once
And now you understand
The permanence of parting
So long, Marianne
Now the suits are on the hangers
The hats are on the shelf
The Master has now mastered
The silence of the self
So we’ll sing My hallelujah
Then we’ll sing about your bird
And laugh at how it pleases you
To have the final word
You came so far for beauty
You cast your eyes above
But still you did your duty
In the field command of love
There’s a way to say goodbye now
To Heather and to Pearl
To a hotel room in Chelsea
To the waning of the world
Now the suits are in the closet
The hats are on the shelf
The Master has now mastered
The silence of the self
So let us all sing hallelujah
For the sacred and absurd
And wing a prayer to Leonard
Who had the final word
So you’ve finally come to see Me
You bastard in a suit
I’ve kept up with your letters
And a few were quite astute
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Howard Simon San Francisco, California
I am a San Francisco-based singer-songwriter. My songs are about love (romantic and otherwise), family, morality and mortality. If there is a common thread to my songs, it is the people we love, the desire to do right, and the hope and fear, the peace and the struggle that constitute life bring wonder in addition to its joy and sadness, and sometimes loss. ... more
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